wrastlin'

[lapsedagnostic]

Number One Daughter's first wrestling meet is tonight. I did mention she went out for the team, right? Well, she did, and she made it. Unfortunately, at least from her perspective, there's a boy in her weight class (114 lbs) that's been wrestling for three years, much longer than her three weeks or so. *sigh*. Needless to say, she lost the wrestle-off (where the team wrestles itself to determine who represents each weight class), and, on the same day, someone threw a piece of bread at her at lunch, one of her ex-friends is apparently making comments about her out of earshot but not eyesight and then snickering, and she overheard two teachers talking about how inappropriate is is to have girls wrestling, cause they have to get in these unladylike positions and everything. Not a good day for the daughter. *sigh*.

On the plus side, though, she found out she's doing an exhibition wrestling match with a girl from the other team before the actual contest, so she gets to wrestle in front of her friends after all.

On the other plus side, her weight class nemesis is only in the sixth grade (A is in the eighth), and will hopefully grow a few pounds sooner rather than later. Option B is to accept that this is a good learning experience, and to go with it. Option C is to lose a few pounds, 'cause she thinks she has a better chance of wining the wrestle-off with that group of kids.

The last bit of news is that the only other girl on the team hasn't shown up for practice in three days, so A thinks she may be the only girl on the team.

Comments

[wilfulcait.livejournal.com]

Tell her from me that old biddies who have opinions about what is "inappropriate" for girls need to keep them to themselves. The world is not run by women who concern themselves with acting appropriately.

Also, she shouldn't lose weight; she should lift weights and improve her upper body strength. The boys will grow out of her weight class fast enough, because she's never going to be a big gal. And the only way to get better fast is to fight people who are better than you are; you can learn a lot more from them than you can from people who are worse than you. That boy wasn't winning matches 3 weeks into his time with the team either.

Tell her I'm proud of her and she should kick ass for all the wenches in our clan.

[lapsedagnostic.livejournal.com]

Well, losing weight to move down a class is a long and hallowed wrestling tradition, so I'm not freaked by the concept. I thikn we're talking four pounds or so. And, honestly, the feeling I get is that the coach is gonna keep putting her against the better wrestlers in practice 'cause she shows a lot of promise, no matter what her weight. Last week the coaches actually kept her late (and drove her home) so that she could keep wrestling the big guys.

She seems to be getting a lot a grief lately, and I think that actually getting to wrestle in a match would be a serious reward and motivator. We'll see where this goes, especially after today's match. Since she's doing the exhibitoin, she got to bring home one of the team bags, and uniform, and she's part of the spirit day thing going on.

My daughter, the socialized individual. What a cool concept. (I, I was the freaky individual. Mom was the socialized chameleon.) (You know, the one with the Esprit sweatshirt, pearls, and legwarmers.)

(oh, I am _so_ going to die.)

[catya.livejournal.com]

while i know it's a long wrestling tradition, i also think it's a Bad Thing for girls :(

[dianec42.livejournal.com]

Hmm, that sounds perilously close to saying what's inappropriate for girls (as discussed above). Are you sure that's appropriate? (-:

Seriously though... I know that for a lot of girls, obsessing about weight can be intertwined with all kinds of social and self-esteem problems; but in this case, it really doesn't sound like that's going to be a problem. If ever there was a girl capable of handling herself in this area, A. sounds like the one.

[catya.livejournal.com]

sure, that's fair. it just pushed my "bad idea" buttons pretty hard, but i don't know her.

[lapsedagnostic.livejournal.com]

I think that pushing weight loss for any reason associated with making yourself Better, or Beautiful, or Popular, or any of that crap is dangerous. I'm much less worried about the effects of "if you lose four pounds, you don't have to wrestle in Fred's weight class any more" will have on her psyche.

There's no judgement values, and it's not the start of a slippery slope. Well, not more of one that all wrestling teams have, no matter the sex. Not that those aren't a health issue, just a different one.

[enigmaticelf.livejournal.com]

So, my judgement on the weight thing would really depend on what her body type is right now. If she's already on the super skinny side, and is working out (which will build muscle), losing 4 lbs can be a difficult and potentially unhealthy thing.

However, if she's already at a "normal" size, and she takes care that she doesn't compromise anything else (ie, get proper nutrition above all; don't lose muscle; stop if she has side effects), then sure, 4 lbs is not gonna be a deal at all.

Personally, I vote for staying where she is and just focusing on her own skills, but that's probably just because I've never really succeeded in losing weight on purpose. Hope the exhibition goes great!

[lapsedagnostic.livejournal.com]

Her body type is, at least from my perspective, "normal" for a teen girl. Healthy, mainly.

It's just a thought, though. Not something I'm pushing by any stretch.

[liatha.livejournal.com]

Yah know... people who mutter behind thier hands about "unladylike" behavior piss me off almost as much as militant feminazi's do. And the idea that people like that are in positions of authority over children makes me grind my teeth.

As for the former friend... unfortunately, that sort of behavior is pretty much par for the course. Individual children are wonderful things... but as a group, they're vicious, amoral little heathens. I'm sure you and Mym are more than up to the task of guiding her through the minefield of teenaged angst.

Congratulations to your daughter for her success in making the team... and much luck to her both in her exhibition match, and in her continued efforts to make her mark in what remains primarily a mans sport.

[bittibuddha.livejournal.com]

Somehow this girl of yours has been able to skip over much of the adolescent angst that most girls experience in middle/high school. No one is going to get away completely unscathed by it. It does serve a purpose too (makes us decide what aspects are most important to our development.)

but still... this girl is walking her own path and i think you and M rock for supporting her in this. I know its not easy to watch your child have to face the scorn of her peers, but by doing so she is forming her own idenity... and ~that~ is probably the goal of every good parent out there.

she is an old soul, that one.

That's funny!

[kevin3.livejournal.com]

"Mom was the socialized chameleon.) (You know, the one with the Esprit sweatshirt, pearls, and legwarmers.)"

Thanks that made my day :)

Part of the Peer group BS is envy.

Sounds like she is doing and you and miss Pearls are doing a great job with it.

Re: That's funny!

[lapsedagnostic.livejournal.com]

You don't have _any_ idea how much trouble I'm gonna get into for mentioning that. Ohhh. I know, I'll make an icon from her yearbook.

Now _that's_ a plan.

Re: That's funny!

[kevin3.livejournal.com]

Just scan the picture and post it! I need a new pin up :)

Re: That's funny!

[lapsedagnostic.livejournal.com]

If'n it's a pin up your wantin', I know just the pictures for you...

Re: That's funny!

[kevin3.livejournal.com]

But a pin up with the Esprit sweatshirt, pearls, and legwarmers has such a humiliation aspect to it :)

But I'm greedy I will take the others as well :)

[merde.livejournal.com]

well, the other plus side is that she's learning all kinds of useful tricks for shutting up the ignorant fuckheads who are giving her a hard time.

man, that really sucks. when you're that age, there's *nothing* worse than being picked on at school. kudos to you for caring enough to 1) know about it and 2) be supportive.

(resists urge to whine about own parents)

[mgs-naughtycat.livejournal.com]

do please remind her, that to her major advantage, despite being an outcast, this will mean that she will learn how to kick someone's ass. why any fool would tease someone that is learning how to beat other people up i don't know. you might want to mention that to her, it might help reveal just how stupid those types of people are.
i am APPAULED (did i spell that right?!) that TEACHERS would make comments about ladylike behavior. they can take their ladylike behavior and shove it... even Jackie O rode horses, and if that's ladylike, i'm afraid to see whats not.
dropping weight is not a good thing. as mentioned, it can put a whole lot of unwanted stress on the mental aspect of things. besides, as also mentioned thats the cheap way out. only way to get better is to continue to fight people bigger faster and stronger.
if she wants, some form of martial arts would probably also benefit her as well, teach her other skills and things.
there was one girl that was a blackbelt that i went to school with. no one was stupid enough to make fun of her...

[enigmaticelf.livejournal.com]

Since you asked, it's "appalled." :) Pretty close.

Wrestling

[sierra-victor.livejournal.com]

Good for her!

Let us know how it goes.

I confess that I wish my number one daughter would get interested enough in anything to really throw herself into it.

Oh well, someday, someday.

S_V

You guys rock!!!!!

[tigereyes20151.livejournal.com]

Speaking as the now grown woman who in the 8th grade tried out for the boys wrestling team at George Mason Jr/Sr High School in Falls Church, Va. I salute you. I really wanted on the team and the coach knew me and my bully reputation and allowed me to try out. My hopes and dreams of actually getting to compete in the one and only sport I had any interest in were dashed when the Principal told my parents it was inappropriate. The fact that I was female he was concerned that I would be poked and prodded in an inappropriate manner by the boys on the team. I informed him that I could poke and prod just as good as any boy could but he didn't want to discuss the matter with me. I was greatly disappointed with my parents when they made no effort whatsoever to fight for my right to participate on the boys team since there was no girls team. They were not the least bit concerned with the fact that this was the first school club or sport that I had ever expressed any interest in and not surprisingly it was the last. I think you guys are fabulous for not only allowing your daughter to explore this interest but in showing loving support in her interest as well as her emotional support against ignorant criticism. Like I said...." you guys rock!" Hope she has a blast